I thought it was the doomsday and I was lying on my death bed. But, when I opened my eyes, I saw the doctor smiling and saying in distorted voice— “You are the bravest woman I have ever seen !”
I tried to smile, but couldn’t. He was calling me a brave woman, a woman who was weak, underweight and anemic, who was not even able to ask “why me?”.
My doctor said— “while the whole world cries before entering into the operation theatre for such a tough, Grade-4 surgery, you were smiling and writing notes to your children on your medical prescription. When the whole world weeps with pain during surgery in trans-state of mind, you were the one who was murmuring poems of hope for your daughters even in that subconscious state. You are indeed the strongest woman I have ever met!”
For a woman who was always called frail, fragile and was considered not fit to handle tough situations, it was the biggest compliment till the day. I wanted to thank Dr. Begani (Dr. M.M. Begani, Surgeon, Bombay hospital) for the praise, but was heavily drowsed due to anesthesia and tranquilizers. I couldn’t even utter a word, though I wanted to say— “motherhood makes me the strongest person on this earth.”
I thought I won’t come back home alive, that day, before entering into the operation theatre. I was sinking, thus I wrote a poem for my daughters on the blank-back side of my prescription. It was an 8 hours long, difficult and fatal surgery, and I was advised to stay there for at least 15 days. Despite that, I came back home just after a week, though my family and doctor tried to stop me.
I have heard a line in Hindi, sometimes back, (don’t remember exactly when and where)
“Jab baat bachon par aati hai to hirni bhi sherni ban jati hai”!
And I came back home stronger, more motherly. Though today is not Daughter’s day, but every day is a Daughter’s day for me till I am alive.
Here’s sharing the poem written for my beautiful daughters Maitreni and Anindhya, which I wrote in the ICU 10 years back.