Buddy Parenting: My Journey from a Mom to a Friend

Buddy Parenting: My Journey from a Mom to a Friend


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John F Kennedy once said— “Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to be politicians in the process.” All what he told us that how apparently we show our expectations when it comes to our children’s future. Suddenly, we start building those castles of cards for the ‘silver present’ and ‘golden future’ of our kids, without even realizing that the fact of being an over-expectant parent drags us miles away from our kids’ heart. As long as I love my kids and keep their best interests at heart, there is no right or wrong way to parent. And, buddy parenting is indeed the best way to commemorate my kids’ interests and well-being while being friends with them.

The day she was born, I was born again— ‘twas the birth of a mother. Two new lives came into this world— a new born baby and a newly grown mom. It was the transition of a girl into a woman, the transformation of a wife into a mother and the evolution of a carefree daughter into a responsible mother in true sense. When she opened her eyes to see this new world of hers, I got a new vision too, to see this world with a new perspective. I started visualizing all the situations and the related conditions with a novice approach and that was the birth of a new woman— a mother.

As a kid I was not that close to my parents, reason being that the parents of our times were quite reluctant in showing their softer side. My parents belonged to that genre of people who thought their kids wouldn’t learn moral values without them being strict. I, sometimes, even think my parents touched me only while punishing, as expressing their hidden love for us was kind of a taboo for them. So the day that affection-deprived girl was turned into an affectionate mom, she decided to be her child’s first and best friend, the buddy parent for sure.

I lived her infancy and childhood like a little baby apart from being a responsible mom. I always tasted her baby-food prior to her feed just to know how she finds the taste. I rang those rattles for her, sang lullabies for hours, combed her dolls’ hair along with hers and learnt all those nursery rhymes I had almost forgotten by then. Yes, two babies were growing up mutually and gradually.

kellogg's chocosEven we ate the same breakfast, “Kellogs Chocos” and celebrated those “Khushi Ke Pal” playing with the little toys that used to come along with the Chocos packs as surprise gifts. My baby’s smile after seeing those gifts was really a ‘khuljaye bachpan’ experience for me when she used to say “Mom, you own only 1 car while I own 8!” Her innocent pride used to make me proud of my buddy parenting. 🙂

kellogg's buddy parenting

kellogh's chocos toys

We grabbed the same thought process simultaneously though there were clash of thoughts as well. When she made mistakes, I thought for a while to let her touch the fire herself and realize the pain of burnt fingers to become mature. But I never did that as the over-concerned buddy parent in me didn’t allow me to do so. So, whenever she wanted to touch that fire and was not listening to me to stop, I stopped stopping her. Rather what I did, eventually, was to touch the fire along with her and let her realize she did not only burn her fingers but mine too. And that made her even more sensible.

buddy parenting

If she fetched poor marks in her exams, I was there to share her guilt as scolding might make her guilt-free and obstinate. Yes, I was her best friend in all good and bad times. My baby was growing in me as my inseparable part and I was born again as the teen mom of a teen daughter with my buddy parenting.

She tried to match my vocal cords, my surs and sargams, while I tried to tap my feet along with hers on her moves and beats. I guided her fingers on harmonium keys while she mastered mine on the computer keyboard. While I taught her the correct pronunciation of words, she taught me how to pronounce them with accents. While I encouraged her to drape a saree, she inspired me to try denims. And, we were born like two ladies who think alike, who look-alike, who dress alike and live a life quite-alike.

I made friends out of hers when she was a grown-up college student. Just to know what’s going in her mind, I interacted with her friends. She was not happy this time, she thought I was interfering too much in her personal space and I thought I had failed in my buddy parenting. I stepped back for a while and let her touch that fire alone this time. When she had burnt her fingers and was crying out of pain and loneliness, I whispered from behind with all cure for her wounds, all the trust for her disbelief and all the support for her bad times. Two friends were born again.

This is my true story of buddy parenting to my daughter Maitreni.

Team TSS Woman

Together we fall, together we rise, together we live and together we blog for The Style Symphony— doing my part of buddy parenting through this post! 🙂

Sangeeta Mishra


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47 comments

Lovely post Sangeeta ji, Lessons in it for all parents like us. N might i add, having gone through some of ur daughter’s posts, u have done a sterling job of parenting too.
Happy Blogging!

Thank you so much for your kind words Mr.Sing. Glad that you liked mine as well as my daughter’s posts. She is indeed very fortunate being appreciated by such literary people like you. Thanks for stopping by and Happy blogging to you too! 🙂

Thank you so much Shweta. Your appreciation is indeed very special and your words are quite gladdening. Means a lot. I love your presence and encouraging words.Thanks again for your constant support. Truly heartfelt 🙂

Thank you so much dear Shweta for those generous words and all the appreciation. I’m so glad you liked my voice and the post too. This means a lot. Hugs! :*

मैत्रेनी जी, स्पर्धा के लिए आपको बहुत बहुत शुभकामनाए …

Lovely post on buddy parenting Sangeeta ji.
A great gift from GOD is the parent-child bonding and thanks a load for sharing your story.Kudos to you.Sprinkling loads of happiness to you and also to your daughters.

Cheers,
Sriram & Krithiga

Thank you so much Shriram & Krithiga for your appreciation. Means a lot when comes from such supportive people like you. Thanks once again for stopping by. 🙂

Hey, thanks dear. your comments are always special for me & TSS as well. Love you too.:)

What a heartfelt post, Sangeeta Ji! You just poured your heart out. Kisi ki nazar na lage is bonding ko… All the best for the contest! 🙂

Thanks Ravish for your appreciation. It really feels special when you come up with such nice and encouraging words. Means a lot. 🙂

Such a wonderful story! May your relationship remain in the same buddy manner for ever…

Thank you so much Mr. Rajeev. Your good wishes are indeed special. 🙂

I love to read these topics on The Style Symphony – keeps reminding me of my time with mom 🙂
Loved reading this, and about those cars – I had three 😀

I had two dinosaurs from Kellogg’s – did you have one? If you didn’t, Pixie can still win the overall trophy by 3 😀

Hawww.. look at this… I have 3 and wonder why I forgot to add those. :-O This toy car part was added by me making mom angry, she said I spoiled the seriousness of the post. But you know what, thanks a ton for reminding, I’ll spoil some more 😛 Let me add those dinosaurs as well. Kudos to Buddy Parenting & the “Vampire Bat & Pixie Bonding” 😀 Thanks to mom for keeping those little toys safe till now! ^_^

Haha… Toy-talks between Vampire Bat & Pixie ! Hmmm not bad. Seems both of you aren’t fully grown up and still need to be send to your respective play-schools. You can even start your ‘Toy-Blogs’ from there for kids under 14. 🙂 😀

Beautiful post that made me really emotional. It’s so well written and the audio clip was the icing on the cake. I would love to see it as the winning post. You both are just so wonderful. Lots of love to the two of you 🙂
I loved this post so much mainly because it reminded me of the bond that I shared with my mother. She taught me singing and she was my best buddy. Unfortunately, I lost her at the age of 12 but this post made me revive plenty of memories spend with her. Thank you so much 🙂

Hey Dear,

I’m falling short of words to express my feelings to you. All I can say that I value your presence here and you are not only a great writer but also a gem of a person. May God bless you and showers all the happiness of life upon you. Thank you so much for your kind words and constant support.

Lots of love and an affectionate hug. 🙂 <3 <3 <3

Such a heartfelt post, I loved every bit of it. 🙂 Especially the end which was rather a beautiful beginning. 🙂 You’re a great mother and You both are equally gifted with very sweet voice, loved the song. Cheers to motherhood 🙂

Hey Deeshani,
It’s really an overwhelming feeling reading your comments on TSS. Your appreciation means a lot as your words enthrall me. Thank you sooooooo much dear. Lots of love and Hugs 🙂 <3

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