They say, “A woman can multitask better than a man”, but if I say, a woman’s heart can accommodate innumerable relationships as she can perform multiple roles of love and life simultaneously, I wouldn’t be wrong. She can be a daughter, a sister, a beloved, a friend, a wife, a mother or even a grandmother concomitantly. But when it comes to a man, he remains a man, no matter what happens. And the woman gets scattered in pieces. On the eve of International women’s day, I want to express the grief of a woman who gets hurt every day being treated like a commodity by a man.
It’s neither a story from an old movie of ‘60s nor it’s a saga of an outdated daily T.V. soap, rather it happens every day around us. It’s not the story of rural people who lack in the minimum necessities and the basic education, but these incidents happen around us with urbane people boasting achievements and talking pride.
I have seen incidents occurred with girls who are like my daughters, with women like my sisters and with elderly women like my mother. It happens with my conscience, where there are women in multitude but the man is one, treating all of them as commodities, non living things. I have seen them being used, felt their pain, experienced their trauma in real, as it’s not a fiction, it happened around me.
- He prayed to her as if she was a deity. Then praised her, impressed her, wooed her, seduced her and grabbed her trust to smash her to ashes. She accompanied him towards that infamous, disreputable park where the cops caught them committing sin, behind the bushes. In the police van, he faced the world with an elan with his head upright, while she had to cover her shameful face with a dupatta to hide herself from media, as the lady cop asked her.
- When she refused his preferences, he imposed himself upon her. Then she told him— “how dare you touch me”. He said — “Because, you don’t deserve love, you deserve molestation.”
- She wanted to dress like other girls so she wore jeans. He slapped her for she tried to copy those cheap girls wearing modern clothes.
- He clicked pictures and videos of their intimate moments but when she left him for not coping up with his anger and disgust, he posted those private pictures on social media just to punish her by demolishing her pride and reputation.
- He met her during his job training and told her that she looked like his first love and then confessed his love for her. Both of them started living in. After a year, he said to her that he doesn’t love her anymore as, neither she was his first love nor worth being his family’s daughter-in-law. She was left used and thrown.
- She tied Rakhis on his wrist and he promised respect and protection in return. But whenever he lost his temper, he started his abuses beginning with the word ‘sister’.
- He called her ‘Maa’ and she felt emotional and concerned towards him. Whenever he was in need, he remembered her and she did the needful. But when he became angry, he uttered the word ‘Maa’ followed by disgusting abusive words and the word ‘Maa’ got malicious.
- She brought him up with her sweat, blood and tears. But when he started earning, he splurged his money lavishly on young and beautiful women and left her as if she was nothing but a crone (old and ugly woman).
- On that fateful day, he took her for a movie date. Both of them asked for a lift in that ghostly and ghastly bus, where he was being beaten while she had to lose her life after experiencing harrowing hell. He got fame, cameras, recognition, lime-lights, while she had to loose even her name, face and identity shrouded behind adjectives like ‘Damini’ and ‘Nirbhaya’.
She has to pay the price for having a woman’s body, which is not as strong as that of a man. Despite proving her ability that she is no less than him in all walks of life, she is still kept at the edge. Despite shouting her capacity, she’s still being deprived of what she deserves— respect in true sense.
She is not an “only woman”. She has been divided into multiple pieces because she’s able to multitask. Since she can manage, she has been used to the core. She is being ill-treated, treated like a commodity— or like a mere body. But he is one. He is a man— he is lust personified.
I am writing all this, not because I am against men. I do respect men as I respect my father, father-in-law,uncles, husband, brothers, cousins, sons, nephews and all the men around. But I’m writing this with deep pain and anguish as I’ve seen such incidents happening around me.
While the whole world claims gender equality, we still live in a society where women are being refused of their rights. And if they claim and grab those rights with their capability and wrath, they’ve been given to them as donations, not as rights. I am celebrating this women’s day for the woman in me, who is a multi-tasker, countless, innumerable and requesting that “MAN” to let her perform multitask with peace, respect and dignity. She is not only a body, there resides a soul too.
— Sangeeta Mishra