One of the most successful films from the history of Indian Cinema, Sholay is considered a landmark flick! It has made many records and grabbed many prestigious awards as well. Sholay ran continuously for more than 5 years in Minerva theatre, Bombay. It was ranked first amidst all the Hindi movies till date by British film institute for a poll of ‘Top 10 Indian films’ and was even judged as ‘the best film of 50 years’ by Filmfare Awards in 2005. The characters, plot, cinematography, story, music, actors and action scenes— everything was legendary and would always be remembered and cherished in the hearts of the masses creating remarkable impacts.
I’ve seen Sholay in theatre during my childhood and several other times on T.V. Every time I’ve seen this Bollywood classic, I discovered new angles and prospects in the movie. Every time I’ve watched it, I find new facets of film making— cinematography in it. Despite being released in 1975, Sholay has many contemporary aspects in it, which make it timeless. But still, it belongs to an era, time zone or genre, to which our new generation finds difficult to connect with and imbibe its fervor. So, on a lighter note, I thought of—
“If Sholay was remade in 2016, how could it be conceptualized and portrayed on celluloid?” 🎬 🎬 🎬
Indeed, it would be an extremely difficult task to showcase a timeless classic flick like Sholay in today’s time, while keeping its spirit alive and retaining the original fervor intact. But what’s the harm in giving it a try— in a humorous way though! 😉
- If Sholay was made in 2016, I would like all the characters and their names remain the same with a little variation of course just by calling them with new and trendy nicknames, such as—
Basanti as Betty
Veeru as Vee
Jai as Jeh
Thakur Saa’b as Thaks Sir
Sambha as Shams
Kaliya as Kaal
But, I would like Gabbar to be unchanged, as nothing could beat the glam and kitsch of Gabbar Singh! 😀
- Keeping in mind the today’s time, society, backdrop and lifestyle, there would be some basic changes in the screenplay and characterizations. ‘Chambal K Daku’ would be replaced by bank robbers, preferably internet bank hackers and abductors.
- Dhanno must be an auto-rickshaw 🚍 than a ghodi 🐎 and Basanti’s dialogue —
“Chal Dhanno, aaj teri Basanti ki ijjat ka sawal hai! Chal!!”
would be delivered as;-
“C’mon Dhanno! Aaj your Betty has to set the town on fire! 🔥 Chal…. to the petrol pump!!” 😀
- Basanti aka Betty would be dressed up in a short skirt and crop-top rather than ghaghra-choli.
- Betty (Basanti) would do a ‘striptease’ or a ‘pole dance’ instead of ‘Oooo jab tak hai jaan’ 🎤 🎧 🎼 🎹 🎷 🎺 🎸 🎻 to seduce the abductors of Gabbar gang, so that she could save Vee (Veeru) from their trap. She would refuse dancing bare footed on glass pieces, rather wear stilettos 👠 and tap her feet 💃 on the tunes of;
‘Oonchi wali heel 👠 pehen kar dance Basanti, da da dance 💃 Basanti’; 🎤 🎧 🎼 🎹 🎷 🎺 🎸 🎻
And then, she would throw broken glass pieces into the eyes of dacoits in order to set herself and Veeru, free from their clutch.
- Gabbar’s dialogue— “
“Arrey O Sambha! Ye Ramgadh wale apni betiyon ko kaun si chakki ka aata khilate hain?” ;
Would be recreated as;-
“Oye Shams! Ye Ramgadh wale apni daughters ke liye kaun se outlet se pizza 🍕 order karte hain;— Dominoz or Pizza Hut?” 😛
- Rahim Chacha (played by A.K. Hangal in original Sholey) would be a tech-savvy, gadget freak elderly guy whose son Ahmed (Sachin)’s killing will become viral on internet and his initial dialogue,
“Itna sannata kyu hai bhai?”
would be replaced with
“Aaj wifi kyu disconnect kar diya bhai?”
- Veeru’s dialogue—
“Basanti! In kutton ke saamne mat nachna!”
Would be revamped as;-
“Betty! Don’t share your password with these b*@#$%^*!”
- And, at last, Thakur Saa’b aka. Thaks Sir would kill Gabbar. But the catch or rather say the kitsch, would be something else from the original flick. Instead of killing Gabbar with his feet clad in ‘spiky soled leather sandals’, Thakur would rather kill Gabbar with his robotic hands concealed under his hanging kurta sleeves which would be kept as a surprise element and will be revealed at the end only. Thakur would suddenly grow robotic hands and clasp Gabbar’s neck till he dies!
The Direction & Star cast of Sholay, 2016
Direction: Sholay was directed by Ramesh Sippy who did a commendable job by amalgamating action and emotion superbly. In today’s time, who could do the job best, is none other than Rohit Shetty. Only he can intermingle action with emotion, drama with laughter and cinematography with excellence.
Jai & Veeru: Amitabh Bachhan & Dharmendra would be replaced by no less than Aamir & Salman— The macho man Salman to replace the deadly Dharmendra (Veeru) and Mr. Perfectionist Aamir for the substitute of subtle and demure Amitabh (Jai).
They will sing ‘Ye dosti hum nahi todenge’ 🎤 🎧 🎼 🎹 🎷 🎺 🎸 🎻 …. and some on-screen chemistry might evolve between the duo, that could mend their personal differences as well. So, Sholay, 2016 would bring back two old friends pronouncing — Ye dosti hum nahi todenge! 👬
Both the characters of Jai and Veeru would be remodeled as tech-wizards turned into petty internet hackers (In the original Sholay, they were petty thieves) who would be hired by Thakur as ‘ethical hackers’ to expose the ‘Gabbar gang of bank hackers’.
Basanti: Hema Malini, now Deepika Padukone!
Who could match the effervescent aura of Hema Malini today? I guess no one can! But Deepika’s rustic charm would surely add some Bollywood Masala to the character of Basanti aka Betti. Not to forget her accent in Chennai Express. She will surely pick up the rural dialect in a promising manner and also add her modern touch to the character.
Thakur Saa’b: Sanjeev Kumar, now Rajinikanth!
In the original movie, Sanjeev Kumar, the substantial actor played Thakur giving a serious avatar to the legendary character. But in today’s scenario, no other than Rajini Sir would be apt to play Thaks Sir to add spunk, aplomb and edge to the character. And not to forget the usage of robotic hand at the end— who can do it better than ‘Chitti’, the original Robot of Hindi cinema.
Gabber Singh: Amzad Khan, now Arjun Rampal!
It’s true that no one in today’s Hindi Cinema is able enough to match the spine chilling brutality of the original Gabber played by Amzad Khan. But our Sholay, 2016 is a bit novice in terms of concept and characterization suitable to modern times. Unlike the original Gabber, the Chambal ka Daku, the modern one is an internet bank hacker, so he is quite sophisticated and suave, despite being barbaric to the core. Arjun would be a perfecto for that! Who can forget his negative roles in Om Shanti Om & Ra One, suave yet savage, debonair yet devilish.
Radha: Jaya Bhadhuri, now Shraddha Kapoor!
The glimmer and serenity of Jaya Bachhan is indeed matchless when it comes to her substitute. Only I could think of Shraddha Kapoor for the poise and composure of her persona and the equilibrium in her acting skills. Also, she is the only actress of current times who looks damn gorgeous in white. So, best suited for Radha, the white saree clad widow! Even her husky voice could match well with that of Jaya!
Mehbooba, the dancer: Helen, now Sunny Leone! Can you ever forget the sensuous dance number ‘Mehbooba O Mehbooba..Oooooo’ 🎤 🎧 🎼 🎹 🎷 🎺 🎸 🎻 — the mother of all item numbers ever exhibited on silver screen. No one can, I bet! Who can ever forget the Greek Goddess Helen and her seductive dance moves in Mehbooba song! Though, it’s difficult to recreate that sensuousness by any of today’s dancers, but, to add that extra spice and to set box-office on fire 🎇, Sunny Leone would be the right choice with a hot item number.
Hilarious, witty or whatever… my take on Sholay might look weird to some, but I’m sure it must have tickled your funny bones. Wish some director comes across this blog post, gives me credit for his upcoming blockbuster and I become a Crorepati (oops patni). 😂 Amen! 😇
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