Dreams
Though perennial, theirs was a fleeting love affair,
“Where art thou? Please come back. I’m scared.”
The frightened little girl sobbed, looking for him
In a vast edifice, akin to an ancient Roman Colosseum!
She was recklessly searching for him lost in a labyrinth
As always he vanished and she kept on screaming
‘Yes! It’s you! I know it’s you! She conferred
with the side contours of his visage before he disappeared…
I jerked, opened my eyes all soaked in sweat, and screamed
The little girl was my confrère in sleep in my amicable dream
Asleep but not oblivious of the unslept, unsleeping, elsewhere
Lost in the labyrinth of life was none other than my father!
I saw the dream in monochrome hues as always
Colorless, in all possible shades of blacks, whites, and greys
A dream of him..pleasing yet unpleasant, unslept unsleeping
A dream within my kinetic dream was sprawling!
He thawed my frosty self in those frigid winters
Mollified my malevolence in dehydrated summers
He drenched my barren soul in humid monsoons
And, I sang all my schmaltzy ballads on his tunes!
Like seasons, he seeped into my barren soul
And mended its crevices with molten gold
My pith was quelled by melancholy, my essence was frozen
I knew I was made of his tears, yes, I was chosen!
Time was the cruelest adversary in the battle of my existence
As I lost him chasing in my innermost dream in its pertinence
Yet again, he vanished in that Colosseum, immense
Albeit, I sense him around me in his omnipresence!
Whenever I go to slumber to catch him in a dream
Merely his doe eyes, filled with the dying Moon, are seen
Adrift in the maze of the vast expanse
Haunting me in my little girl’s dreams, his eyes dance!
Sad, flummoxed, lost in this world’s labyrinth
He was quite a misfit, wherein
I am yet asleep but not oblivious to him unslept, elsewhere
Somewhere, everywhere, in the heavens, up there!
My love for him is ultimate, boundless
He still is the exemplar of all the goodness
As every day, he utters his last words in my protean dream
“Forgive and forget, love and live, O’ my offspring!”
I’m still asleep but not oblivious to him
Elsewhere…somewhere, everywhere.. unslept, unsleeping
Lost in a dream, found within my soul
In my dreams within dreams…my dreams as a whole…!
I failed to grasp him.. was unable to catch hold of him…
Though, he’s yet in my dream within a dream. Unslept, Unsleeping!
It’s been more than two decades since my father left me but the void is still prevalent…my fissured soul still bleeds and my scars are afresh. Losing one’s father is like losing your Joie De Vivre… 20th December was the fateful day when he left for his work cheerfully at 10 AM and came back defunct at 12 noon.. Life has been at a standstill since then. Why is December so gloomy?
The phrase “Asleep but not oblivious of the unslept, unsleeping“ is derived from Adrienne Rich‘s poem “Tonight No Poetry Will Serve”
The featured image of this post is part of an artwork from “The Oath of Hannibal”
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I’ll definitely be implementing some of these tips, thanks for the great advice.