He gazed, she smiled.
She was swayed by his style.
The dangling beads of her earrings,
Kept him constantly staring!
While friendship developed between the two,
He continued on his mission to woo.
Expressions were redefined through words
And they were granted the title of love birds!
Their unison was such that the world gave a glance
There began the story of their true romance!
She felt his bona fide touch,
Alas! She was caught and was clutched.
In her days of confinement life took a toll
Among those sealed doors too, she would hear him call
Those gleaming eyes of tears expressed her plight,
Months passed by in her notion of being right!
They parted to study in two different states,
Brimming with passion, she still thought to wait.
Irrespective of her feelings, he started a new life,
In lieu of that gaze again, harder she strived.
And then she found his touches in those others,
She confronted, he ignored; he was least bothered.
But, this time those touches gave her a thrust.
Clouds broke apart while she shed her broken trust.
Days passed by in her stage of frustration.
Life threw her into the state of depression.
Slowly she learnt to overcome with power.
She dealt with situations both sweet and sour.
In a whole new city she began her life alone,
Determined to never look back upon those stones thrown
She stepped out to smell the fragrance of fresh air,
With the over powering wind, she again saw him stare
She stood up to hear when the nightingales sang
But found him in front whenever the doorbell rang!
While she’d go out to relish those long drives,
She would find him standing on her way as a guide
When she expressed his presence, nobody believed.
They demeaned her by saying ‘twas just a story weaved.
In every place she’d go, in everything she’d do,
She would watch him again on his mission to woo.
And one fine day, she called up his friends.
Far away he was from her reach, stated his trends
She was told by them, she had nothing to regret.
Yes, those *bona-fake* touches were part of his bet.
She smiled with tears and was taken to the doctor.
A ‘Hallucination’ patient, Dr. proclaimed and she burst out of laughter! :’)
— Maitreni
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Oh Dear, it’s more than beautiful – the plot, the narration, the rhyme – everything! Well, I’ve seen your talent in story telling but didn’t know that you are damn good in rhyming too. It’s a complete entertainment, Maitreni.
It has myriad of emotions and the choice of words to convey them is par excellence. The beauty of it is that one can visualise it so easily. The power of visualisation enables one to connect with it strongly and feel it intensely.
It could be interpreted as a story of a girl who was cheated in love and gone mad. The boy played with her emotions and destroyed her life only to win a bet.
The best part of it is your control: When readers are carried away with the flow, you just give them a sharp jerk to change their mood. It’s refreshment for mind. Repressed emotions of readers come out with the flow and the final jerk replaces them with positive one.
On a different plane, it could be interpreted as a story of a girl, whose journey of love began with lust, then earthly love and finally divine love.
In the words of Kabir:
तू तू करता तू भया, मुझमें रही न हूँ |
बारी फेरी बलि गई, जित देखू तित तू ||
You beautifully illustrated the alchemy of love: Love leads to longing and that longing purifies the love.
The irony is whoever reaches the state beyond mind, doctors certifies them as mad. The laughter of the girl could be interpreted as the laughter of a mystic who was laughing on ignorance of doctor.
Maitreni, you are not telling with words only but with your eyes and voice also. Loved the modulation in your singing. As it seems, you were first hesitant in singing but when the line came “Humari adhuri kahani” you opened your voice and then your flow was magical.
Now I am literally dumbstruck and speechless after reading your insights Ravish. And trust me, how I tell you those countless number of times I have already read your comment to sense the depth with which you’ve expressed your opinion. It is way beyond *My Way of Looking* at the plot. You’ve given a whole new definition to this composition with your soul-stirring inputs. I am truly mesmerized with your take on this post and falling short of words to express how lucky I feel myself to have a valuable reader and reviewer like you.
And that is the very reason I missed your presence wholeheartedly on TSS for quite some time. If this narration speaks emotions then you my dear reader add value to those emotions. I express my gratitude to you from the core of my heart for beautifying my creation. Much appreciated! Can’t thank enough, your views are sheer ecstasy to a writer and I mean it. :’)
Such a sweet and pleasant voice, Maitreni. <3
Coming to the poem, I'd almost forgotten what the title was and had begun feeling bad for the girl in the story. 🙂 Nice job.
Thank you so much dearie. I’m so glad you liked it ^_^
Wow! Brilliant.. Multi talented Maitreni. Very good. Enjoyed reading it.
Thank yo so much Vishal. So glad you liked it! 🙂
Ha ha, a hallucination in the end. This was a very gripping one Maitreni, I read the title again only at the end to realise what it was taking us through. It got me to believe that it was all real till I read the last line. Kudos 🙂
Thank you so much Vinay! I’m so glad you liked it! 🙂
Well expressed poem, Maitreni. 🙂
Thanks a lot 🙂
Beautifully written. I love the emotions in the poem
Thank you so much Ami 🙂
Very beautifully penned Maitreni 🙂
Thank you Anjali! 🙂
So beautifully put Somali. Thank you so much, glad you liked it 🙂
whoaa… someone has become a poetess too…. like mother like daughter… 🙂 love your voice darling… and loved the lines too… very well expressed… 🙂 xx
Awww… thank you so much my dearie. I’m so happy you liked it <3
Such an interesting and emotional tale you narrated through rhyming lines. Depression often pushes a person to imagine stuffs. The ending was superb. Loved it dear <3
And the song "Humari Adhuri Kahani" in your voice perfectly matched the prose-poetry. I really love the texture of your voice :-*
Thank you so much dear. It makes me feel elated that YOU liked it. :’)
Your every word means a lot. <3 Thank you heaps for your valuable presence on TSS and making my life beautiful. :*