“Madame! Buy it! You’ll look like a cute rabbit wearing it. It’ll compliment your cognac eyes.” — The sales girl told me showing a white angora fur coat. My eyes rolled with fancy the moment I tried to imagine myself wearing it and looking like a fluffy white bunny.
“You want to buy it? It’s damn expensive.”— My husband said.
“No! Not at all! It’s too difficult to maintain as I might end up staining it.”— I said coyly looking at my 4 years old white cardigan which looked almost new and sparkling white.
It was my first ever mall-shopping experience at K-mart in Los Angeles during the winters of 1992. I so direly wanted to buy that white fur coat, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have money (dollars) and like all other good girls, I was taught not to ask anything from anyone. So I said ‘no’ to my husband. I thought he would notice that sudden spark in my eyes like my father used to see whenever he took me on local shopping sprees. But my husband couldn’t. Gosh! He was not like my father! How could he be!
I stepped out of K-mart with some beautiful party dresses and fur-toys for my 3 months old daughter who was miles away from me in India with my parents. At least I could ask for those gifts for her, from her father. I have never had much fascination for the luxuries of life. But a woman is always a woman and beauty attracts her. So was that white fur coat! That time I was not earning so wasn’t independent.
Later in life I worked, earned even more than that with which I could buy my desired things or happiness. But that inclination was gone. Priorities changed. Dreams were overpowered with responsibilities. Hobbies were taken over by kid’s activities and self contentment was swapped with the adversities of life. Now, I have a platter full of my favorite food but I lack in taste and hunger. Now music plays on sound bars but I’m reluctant to hum with it.
A woman’s life is like that only. You are hardly given chance to explore your wings. They are often chopped under the harsh realities of life. You are praised for the sacrifices you made and this has a narcotic effect on your fragile psyche which leads you to self-depreciation. You lose your worth with time as no one values your sacrifices but takes them as a prerequisite of your being.
I wrote a Haiku on life about a week ago, which was—
You were not awful
Yet I didn’t live you so
awesomely! O’ Life!
O’ Life! Conjuring?
Let me appraise if you are
worth a second chance!
Some of my learned readers and fellow bloggers commented on that haiku poem…
Though the approach varies from person to person, the crust is the same. It’s all about trying your life once again despite all odds and hardships.
Life is definitely worth another chance. I’m no one to preach you or tell you how to make your life worthwhile as I’m yet to live my life one more time. I want to give it another try. I’m so inspired with this video in which Konkana Sen Sharma explains, so beautifully, how you need to set your priorities. Yes, you need to prioritize yours as I need to set mine.
I have a long list of interests which I have sidelined in a dearth of time which I wish to do once again:—
- I wish to wide-open my burdened eyes to see the bright sun rising and drowning beyond the horizon.
- I want to sing my heart out, so what if my voice descends in high notes due to lack of practice.
- I want to drench myself in a rain-shower without even worrying about the cold that might infect my kids.
- I want to buy that white fur coat. So what if I won’t look like a cute-rabbit in my late 40s. At least, I could feel the warmth of those pet ones whom I used to caress when I was a child. (I even bought one for my 18 year old, and believe me she looks exactly like that bunny of my dreams.
So Girls, Women! Don’t think twice, rather invest your time in yourself and see the kind of wonders it does for you………while I say, “O life! Let me live you one more time.”