CONVOCATIONS…An Elegy…
My poem is the literal representation of Sufjan Stevens‘s instrumental music album, CONVOCATIONS, released about a month ago which is his musical homage to his deceased father and also, to all the lives lost during the pandemic, COVID 19. My poem is written in the memory of my sister, late Vineeta Mishra who lost her battle with leukemia in January 2020. This Elegeia is my tribute to the heavenly soul on her birthday, today on the 10th of June.
CONVOCATIONS
One And a half years ago…
Gathered beneath that garish awning
Spread under the vast expanse of the misty sky
Those hundreds of smirking faces, exhibiting etiquette
All dressed in flashy apparels, talked about the food served.
As observances were meant to satiate you, with each of the morsels they ate and relished.
Even the crows cawing the most clamorous songs were called and fed.
Though, you were already merged in the five elements…
Infused in the Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Sky..
Yet the food they happily ate was meant for you to satisfy.
The ‘Shraddh’ was for your ‘Moksha’, your soul’s salvation,
Thereby, much needed was the Convocation.
.
MEDITATIONS
.
Two years ago…
It was a doomed midsummer evening
When you called to wish me for my day…
It was my blighted birthday…
Groaning with deep agony
You couldn’t sing the happy birthday songs
But your wishes reverberate in my ears
You wanted me to live the rest of your times,
Your share of life with your pains and smiles.
Unable to bear the excruciating pain which lingered in each of your cells
You were in trance and I sensed hell.
.
REVELATIONS
.
A week later….
Blood… blood… blood…
All what they needed was nothing less than blood
Just like those walking cadavers
They were senseless, heartless, undead vampires
Drooling for your blood and then for your bone marrow
Away from all sensations, happiness and sorrows
They sucked all your blood and whatever was left,
Yes! Money I meant!
And the declaration from them…
“Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia”.
Along with the revelation, “You don’t have more than eight years to live ”
.
LAMENTATIONS
.
A month later…
The morbid winter divulged into autumn
Frozen leaves shriveled straightway
Spring never came, neither did it rain
“Grim, the Reaper” knocked our doors stealthily
Singing the ferocious songs of dismay.
Your sound-bar continued to play “Gloomy Sunday” by Billie Holiday.
.
CELEBRATIONS
.
Two months later…
You were too happy celebrating your newly formed life.
Implicit happiness, imposed vigour,
You adorned bit by bit…layer by layer on your shriveling visage.
Even the chemotherapy didn’t break your zeal,
You were deemed not to accept the truth, not to heal.
.
INCANTATIONS
.
Eight months later…
When they said that you had eight years to live,
What seemed too little then, now it seemed too long,
Before the critical care unit of the hospital, I stood aghast.
I was told, “It’s a tough night”.
“NOT TODAY” I beseeched the only god I believe, TIME.
Our mother continued her incantations….
“Rudrashtakam”…”Mahamrityunjaya”…
“Om hon Om bhoor bhuwaswaha… Om trayambakam yajamahe sugandhi pushtivardhanam…”
The last unit of blood platelets kept on waiting for its turn…
As always you didn’t need anything, what a recluse you were…a hell of a miser…
How could you sum up eight years in mere eight months?
***
The last council of CONVOCATIONS is still scheduled in my heart.
You whisper in the air and echo your INCANTATIONS in me.
I let you drip drop by drop from my eyes, What LAMENTATIONS !
I whiff you in petrichor and inhale your MEDITATIONS.
Whenever my phone rings, my heart skips a beat and I become all ears for your REVELATIONS.
I know I can never ever touch you as I couldn’t touch the shroud you were enveloped in.
And there wouldn’t be any CELEBRATIONS without you.
__________________________________
Convocations, an instrumental music album by American musician Sufjan Stevens, released on the 6th of May, 2021, was recorded during the COVID-19 pandemic following the death of Stevens’ father. Stevens paid homage to his deceased father through this album which, he describes as his reflection of a year of anxiety, uncertainty, isolation and loss due to the pandemic. Each of this album’s five volumes represent one of the five stages of grief, motivated by the death of Stevens’ father. I have embedded the YouTube video for my readers!
My poetic adaptation of CONVOCATIONS is also divided into five stages of grief using all the titles given by Sufjan Stevens, that are ..MEDITATIONS, REVELATIONS, LAMENTATIONS, CELEBRATIONS and INCANTATIONS…
Death is a celebration in Hindu religion, hard to believe, but we are obligated to swallow the most extreme venom in the name of rituals. As they say, everything happens for a reason and the reason behind these CONVOCATIONS might be keeping the mourning ones too busy to feel the ferocity of the pain. I don’t know how to fill the void.. Birthdays are not always happy…
.
Only the death of your loved ones may evoke the feeling of ultimate salvation in the face of deep anguish. Gautam Buddha called it Nirvana, Vardhman Mahavira called it Kaivalya, Adwait Vedanta calls it Moksha… Salvation is the acme of pain, that’s what life has taught me. No doubt Sufjan calls it Convocations.
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