Going university? Starting a new job? Finished with your boyfriend? Scary times like these can really test your friendship making powers. Here are the different circumstances and ways in which you can bask into new friendships for a peppy life!
When you’ve just moved away from home!
When out, join communities which require group work, like team sports, drama, foreign languages or film studies, rather than solitary activities like computing. And if friendships don’t blossom instantly, be brave and ask a couple of people who already seem friendly if they want to go for a coffee afterwards. If they already know each other, you don’t have the scary responsibility of making all the small talk. Another peppy route to making new friends is a part-time job somewhere sociable, where you’ll meet a diverse crowd.
If your friends have moved on but you haven’t!
Finding new friends on a familiar turf is a tough one. Be resourceful; call up people you haven’t spoken to for ages, like those from school who you got on with, but didn’t hang out with— saying you’d love to meet up. Also, accept my invitations to come your way even if they’re not your usual cup of tea. The more you do, the more people you’ll meet. Another peppy tip is to use brothers, sisters or cousins around your age as tickets to a new social scene. You’re bound to meet a whole new group of peppy people— maybe not best mate material, but it’s sure to beat sitting in on a Saturday night.
When you’ve started a new job!
If your new office isn’t that sociable, don’t take it personally. Remember, they hired you because they liked you. Being the new peppy girl can be tricky; a pushy approach at first could put people off. Instead, chose a less hectic day to ask if anyone knows a nice place to eat— eventually (if not immediately), after a hint like that, they should ask you along! Alternately, if you overhear someone you like arranging lunch, say, “When you’re less busy, maybe we could go out for lunch some time?” Don’t despair, it will out in time.
When you’ve split up with your boyfriend!
Boycotted your oldies just because you’re embarrassed of your breakup? The best way forward is to swallow your pride and pick up that phone. Be honest, though— apologize and admit that you’ve learnt from your mistake and genuinely miss them. Humility is harder to snub that pride.
When you want your boyfriend’s buddies to be yours as well!
Although the easiest thing is to cower in your boyfriend’s shadow, DON’T! When he introduces you to individual members of the group, make a point of actively joining the conversation. Ask your boyfriend for potted histories of his friends, so that when you meet them, you can make the effort. They should soon realize that it’s unfair to blame you if you guys break up in future! 😛